After much brave and often harrowing experimentation, I have been able to ascertain the following set of rules for driving in this, my new state of residence (not that I've changed my license yet or anything, though).
1. Plowing is a process, not an end goal. Don’t expect to see tar or pavement until, roughly, June.
2. Therefore, silly things like lane markings and turn-only arrows aren’t to be followed. Instead, follow the ice-ruts.
3. Also due to the omnipresent layer of ice on the roads, stopping for a red light is encouraged but not expected. Slowing down for a yellow light is more or less a ridiculous idea.
While fairly widely followed, none of the above driving rules explain these people's near-ubiquitous preference for:
1. passing on the right
2. drive-through espresso huts
3. vanity plates
And don’t even get me started on the “choose-your-adventure” ice arenas that qualify as parking lots.
A list of top 10 vanity plate sightings to follow soon.
your white-knuckled, that’s-ok-I’ll-just-stay-at-home-today sister