My State of Mind, FWIW

Dear list-making-sister,

I sadly do not have anything nearly as exciting as your recent picture essay to share, but as I *just* got an air conditioner installed (HOORAY!) and can now type without dripping sweat all over my computer, I thought I'd write to you. And, since you like making lists and so do I, here is a glimpse into my brain these days, in list form (which is how it would look if you could see into my brain. Well, into my mind. My brain would just be all mushy and bloody and such. Want to see a brain? I've got some at work. Rat brains, fyi, are really tiny compared to their bodies, but supposedly they're really smart. But I digress...):

To do before/during/immediately after moving:

• find an apartment
• pay off my car
• cry about my bank account after paying off my car
• register my car/get a parking permit
• figure out what state I am currently a resident of, and then promptly get MA residency
• find some health insurance
• pack
• find a job in Cambridge/Somerville so I don’t get evicted (assuming I find an apartment)

To do at work:

• look busy
• enjoy the AC
• vending machine runs for candy
• replicate some DNA PCR style (see, I do real work too...)

“Need” but shouldn’t buy (interestingly, also usually a list of things I’ve recently broken):

• a new ipod
• AC in my car
• a phone
• a hair appointment (no, I didn’t break my hair)

Suggestions for not melting in the heat wave:

• Freeze a bunch of icey pops, put them in a garbage bag, and sleep on it. (The garbage bag, I’ve been informed, is necessary because one time a purple one popped and purple stuff got all over a certain someone’s bed.)
• Stick an ice cube on my head and let it melt
• Naked parties

(Editors note: only one of those was PecanMama.)

Acronyms TSNBU (because I couldn’t immediately guess them):

• FWIW
• FUBAR
• OTPHJ (don’t look this one up)

Acronyms TSBU (because I like them):

• IDGARA
• HRWATPTRTCITG
• BYOC (couch...for housewarming parties that get thrown a little too early)
• TOTNN (duh)

Misc.

• Why am I not immune to measles?
• Did StrongDad “misplace” my spare keys?
• Why do constipated fish float?
• Why did Lindsay Lohan write "F*ck you" on her middle finger nail before her court date and then claim she "respects" the court?
• Why does Lindsay Lohan look like a 60 year old already?

And there you have it, Sister, a (probably frightening) snap shot of my mind at the moment. Notice, if you will, the ratio of crossed off to not crossed off on the “To Do” lists. It’s a ratio that is inversely proportional to my stressed out level. There is, of course, also a running tally that should generally resemble my bank account going in my mind at all times, but its in so much flux that I can’t even express it in any tangible way. Oh, wait, yes I can: ^$%^#$&*%^@. Yup, that about sums it up.

love,

your possibly-gone-off-the-deep-end sister